just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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