The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
