bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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