He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
