They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
