Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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