So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
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Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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