i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
