I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings