i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
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The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
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Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.