Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
