Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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