I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Houston, we have a blender
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
