You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
