That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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