I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize