yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
