they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
