Sry I called you an 8
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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