So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
