Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
