So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
