he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
