She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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