I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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