I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
