1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
