dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
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I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
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We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.