She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."