totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
