I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
