she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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