literally had 100 drinks last night.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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