She said her name was "party"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
