Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
