My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
