Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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