Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
