he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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