Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
