Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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