Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
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