tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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