Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
