The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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