I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
ttyl tear gas
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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