I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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