i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
