so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
