i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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