So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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