We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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