he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
