is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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