I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My bed smells like the plague
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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