She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize