why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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