ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
