that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
