I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
