i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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