She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
